How to win friends and influence people summary: How to win friends and influence people summary and lessons to grow your personality and business in digital age.
How to win friends and influence people summary.
How to win friends and influence people is the best selling book of all time for many years.
In this all the techniques are stated by which you can easily influence people and win friends.The principles in this book are based on psychology of human behavior.
So below i have shared brief summary of how to win friends and influence people.By reading this summary i am sure that you do not have to read whole book.
In this all the techniques are stated by which you can easily influence people and win friends.The principles in this book are based on psychology of human behavior.
So below i have shared brief summary of how to win friends and influence people.By reading this summary i am sure that you do not have to read whole book.
Tables of content of how to win friends and influence people summary
PART ONE-:Fundamental techniques in handling people.
1. If you want to gather honey,don't kick over the beehive.
2. The big secret of dealing with people.
3. he who can do this has the whole world world with him.
PART TWO:Ways to make people like you.
1. Do this and you will be welcome anywhere.
2. A simple way to make a good first impression.
3. If you don't do this, you are headed for trouble.
4. An easy way to become a good conversationalist.
5. How to interest people.
6. How to make people like you instantly.
PART THREE-:How to win people to your way of thinking.
1. You cant win an argument.
2. A sure way of making enemies and how to avoid it.
3. If you are wrong admit it.
4. A drop of honey.
5. The secrets of Socrates.
6. The safety valve in handling people.
7. How to get cooperation.
8. A formula that will work wonders for you.
9. What everybody wants.
10. An appeal that everybody likes.
11. The movies do it. TV does it.....Why don't you do it?
12. When nothing else works try this.
PART FOUR-:How to change people without giving offense.
1. If you must find fault,this is the way of begin.
2. How to criticize and not be hated for it.
3. Talk about your own mistakes first.
4. No one likes to take orders.
5. Let the other person save face.
6. How to spur people on to success.
7. Give a dog a good name.
8. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
9. Making people glad to do what you want.
PART ONE-:Fundamental techniques in handling people.
1.If you want to gather honey,don't kick over the beehive.
In this book how to win friends and influence people dale carnegie has told to not criticize,condemn and complaint other people.If you criticize other peoples thing then they would always defend themselves.
So instead of criticizing ,people should get rewarded for their work.This way they learn faster and improve their mistakes.People are emotional creatures so you should connect to theirs emotion by not criticizing but by rewarding them.
2.The big secret of dealing with people.
In this chapter of how to win friends and influence people dale carnegie has told to appreciate others idea.The basic purpose behind this is to get people feel that they are important.
But appreciation should be honest appreciation.It should not be flattering.According to research people improve themselves more if they are appreciated honestly.People get to know when it is appreciation or when it is flattering.So always appreciate people even in small things.
When you do flattering it means you have selfish motive and other people get to know about you motive.
3.He who can do this has the whole world world with him.
In this it is explained that when you do dealing with people then some people always talk about that what they want.This is a wrong way.If you want to convince people then always talk that what the other person want.The deal should give advantage to both the parties.
Example-Once dale carnegie stayed in a hotel for some event.So after one day of staying in hotel the letter of manager of hotel approached him.In this letter the manager has told that they are increasing rent of room by 300 percent in which event was to be held.Dale carnegie has already sent invitation card to people and he had no choice rather to do event in that hotel only.
So what a normal person would do,he would go to mangers room and argue with him but dale carnegie wrote a letter to manger telling that if he doesn't give him that he will not be able to afford this rent and he had no choice to cancel the event.But if he cancels event then there is a big loss to hotel also as educated and professional people come in his event and hotel can get opportunity to advertise its hotel very cheaply.He told that what hotel will loss and what hotel will gain if he does not do event in their hotel.After this manger responded to his letter by increasing rent by only 50 percent.
In this way dale carnegie without arguing with him was able to convince him.
The principle is that each party should gain from negotiation.
PART TWO:Ways to make people like you.
1.Do this and you will be welcome anywhere.
In this chapter of how to win friends and influence people dale carnegie has told to get interested in other person.Many people while talking always talk about themselves only.No one is interested in you. They are always interested in themselves.
So talk about others people interest.The communication should be 30/70 communication. You should talk 30 percent and let the other person talk 70 percent.
2..A simple way to make a good first impression.
If you want to impress other person in first time then always smile while talking.You might have noticed that when you smile then automatically smile comes in other person face.The positive energy flows from you to the other person.The other person thinks that you are interested in talking with him.This way you can influence other person.
The meaning of smile on your face means -"I am glad to see you,I like you"
3.If you don't do this, you are headed for trouble.
In this chapter of how to win friends and influence people it is advised to take names of people again and again while talking to them.The people are very much interested in their own names.They feel important when you take name of them.
People often forget names of people and while in conversation they ask peoples name again and again. This is wrong way of dealing with people.
You should make habit of memorizing names of other people.
4.An easy way to become a good conversationalist.
In this chapter of how to win friends and influence people it is told to become a good listener. You should encourage other people to talk about about themselves.When you listen people carefully then it makes them feel important.
Example-:always listen to customer complaint ,this would help establishing good relations with them.This would make them feel that they are important.
5.How to interest people.
The first principle told us to get interested in other person .In this principle it is told that how can you do this.You can do this by talking about that topic which other person like.This helps you to connect with them emotionally.By this way they think that you are similar to him.This way you can influence people easily.
Example-If other person interest is in automobile industry then talk about it only in your conversation.
6.How to make people like you instantly.
In this chapter of how to win friends and influence people it is told that people will instantly like you if you give them importance.You can give them importance by listening to them,by using phrases like thank you,welcome,would be so kind.
You can also appreciate them in small things.By making feel important you can instantly influence them make them like you.
But remember you should do this sincerely and honestly.
PART THREE-:How to win people to your way of thinking.
1.You cant win an argument.
In this chapter of how to win friends and influence people it is told that never argue with somebody whom you want to make good relation.It is because when you argue with somebody it makes them feel less importance and that person will never like you in future.
In the words of Ben Franklin:
“If you argue and rankle and contradict, you may achieve a victory sometimes; but it will be an empty victory because you will never get your opponent’s goodwill.”
When you argue with somebody and if you win argument then also you hurt others people pride and self-respect.
2.A sure way of making enemies and how to avoid it.
In this chapter dale carnigue has told that if other person is wrong so never say directly to him that he is wrong.This will hurt is pride and self -respect.Inside him he knows that he is wrong but he will never admit it.
So you have to use little diplomacy while criticizing other.This will be explained more in details in part 4 that how to smartly criticize others.
But when you are wrong in an argument.Admitting that you are wrong is the best way to finish an argument.
3.If you are wrong admit it.
In this chapter of how to win friends and influence people it is said that when you indulge in an argument the first thing you have to analyse is that who is wrong.If you are wrong then you should honestly admit it.Admitting it would not lower your image but it will increase respect of your's in other person's mind.
This is the best way to finish an argument in polite way
As the proverb goes: ‘By fighting you never get enough, but by yielding you get more than you expected.’
When you are wrong ,saying sorry to other person will make him more important and he would be influenced by you.
4.A drop of honey.
In this chapter of how to win friends and influence people it is told that while talking to other person you should begin in a friendly way.You should talk politely to people.You should talk them like a friend.
If you want to criticize them so before you should appreciate them on their work and then criticize them.This balances their emotion.But some people start talking to people by criticizing them only.This is wrong and should be avoided.
5.The secrets of Socrates.
In this chapter of how to win friends and influence people dale carnigue has told that when you are talking to people and trying to convince them then you should first ask those questions to them for which they would surely answer yes.Ask about 5 question for which they will surely answer yes then ask main question.In most of the cases they will be surely convinced.
Actually this is a psychology that after 5 yeses it is difficult for a person to say no.The mind of him directs him to say yes only.This is very effective method.
6.The safety valve in handling people.
In this it is told that let the other people do great deal of talking.When you let other people talk about themselves they feel important.
You should only talk 30 percent and let the other person talk 70 percent.You should listen them patiently.You should encourage them to talk more.By this way you can handle people easily.
7.How to get cooperation.
In this chapter of how to win friends and influence people it is told that let the other person feel that idea is his or her.It means that don't tell other people what to do.You should only suggest them and let them to take decision.
This way they will work more effectively when they would think that the idea of working is taken by them only
8.A formula that will work wonders for you.
This is a very important chapter in which dale carnegie has told to think the things in others point of view.When somebody is arguing with you,then you should find the reason behind that and should think that if i were in place of him then what will i do.
This helps to bring more cooperation and this will bring more understanding.This helps you to avoid enemies and make friends more easily.You should listen people with open mind.
9.What everybody wants.
In this chapter of how to win friends and influence people it is advised that be sympathetic with others ideas and desires.
When somebody commits a mistake ,so rather than criticizing him directly you should tell him that if i were in place of yours then i would commit same mistake.Then after saying this phrase you should tell him how to improve this mistake.
This makes him relax and it delivers good image of your's in front of him.
10.An appeal that everybody likes.
This is a appeal of nobler motives.A person does things because of two reasons.First for selfish motive and second is for nobler motives.You should not always do work for selfish motive rather you should also do something for good motives.
Example-You should not always appreciate people because you want something from them rather you should also appreciate them to make them feel happy.
11.The movies do it. TV does it.....Why don't you do it?
This chapter helps you to grab attention.In this chapter it is told that TV and movies dramatize their products to grab attention.So while talking you should also dramatize your self to grab attention of others.This you should not do always but sometimes when it is necessary.
12.When nothing else works try this.
When nothing else works try this means to throw a challenge in front of people.When you challenge different people,a energy to complete this challenge flows inside them.By completing the challenge they want to make them feel important.
This is generally done by most of companies to their employees. This increases self-satisfaction among employees.This gives them chance to prove they are worth or not.
PART FOUR-:How to change people without giving offense.
1.If you must find fault,this is the way of begin.
Sometimes you find faults in other people.So if you want to point out towards their faults ,so never directly criticize them.You should always appreciate them first them talk about faults.
2.How to criticize and not be hated for it.
In this chapter of how to win friends and influence people it is told that many people appreciate first then they add "but" to their sentence and then criticize. This is wrong way.Instead of using "but" you should use "and"
Example-:‘We’re really proud of you, Johnnie, for raising your grades this term. But if you had worked harder on your algebra, the results would have been better.’
This is wrong in this way he would think that appreciation was just a way to criticize him.
rather you should say-:
We’re really proud of you, Johnnie, for raising your grades this term, and by continuing the same conscientious efforts next term, your algebra grade can be up with all the others.’
This is the correct way to convince other.
3.Talk about your own mistakes first.
If you want to really criticize somebody and talk about their mistakes then first talk about own mistake and then politely theirs mistake This helps to convince people.This make them emotionally connect with you.
4.No one likes to take orders.
In this chapter of how to win friends and influence people it is told that always ask other person to do work rather to give orders to them.When you ask other person to do work than they work with more enthusiasm because idea of working is their only.
If you make people part of their decision then they feel more important.
5.Let the other person save face.
In this the author had told that you should never criticize or insult any person in public.You should never let the other person's image diminish in his owns eyes.This will surely hurt his ego and self-respect.You should always respect other person's point of view and image.
We have no right to hurt others people pride and image.If we do so then sure we are making enemies.
6.How to spur people on to success.
In this chapter of how to win friends and influence people it is told that you should praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
People like when they are appreciated.But appreciation should be sincere appreciation not flattering.The appreciation should come from heart.
People get to know when they are not appreciated sincerely.This presents bad image of your's in others point of view.Appreciation make people change themselves.
7.Give a dog a good name.
In this the author had explained that you should give fine reputation to other person.The traits which you want in other person,you should assume that traits in him.And then act accordingly.This way you would be able to handle people easily.
Without arguing you would be a good leader.You would be able to convince people easily.You would be able to get work from them easily..
8.Make the fault seem easy to correct.
In this the author has told that many people directly find faults in other people which ruin their image in front of them.Instead when you find mistakes ,you should make faults very easy to solve to other person.You should explain him politely that how to correct it.
This way he is ready to learn everything from his mistake and you are also able to maintain good image in front of him.
9.Making people glad to do what you want.
In this chapter of how to win friends and influence people the author has told that you should make other person happy while suggesting them things to do.This means that you should deliver him something good so to make him happy.
You should always think of benefits he will get by completing your work.You should provide incentive to him.You should never order him but ask him politely to do work.This way he is ready to do work more effectively and efficiently.
You should be empathetic to other person. Keep yourself in place of other person.
Conclusion-:
So i hope you like the how to win friends and influence people summary.This will help grow you personality and business in digital age.This is a very simple book about human psychology.
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